Tuesday, September 1, 2009

I Suck. Here's Another Movie I Saw at the Theaters

X-Men Origins: Wolverine B-

I always hate when someone brings up the Spiderman movies. Inevitably someone says to me, "you must love them because you're a Spiderman fan." And then I punch them in the face. 

Let's get something straight once and for all. If a person is a fan of a comic book character, is does not mean that he/she will automatically enjoy the movie adaptation. In fact, it's usually the opposite. I don't really like the Spiderman movies. As for Wolverine, I've always liked the character in the comics. I think High Jackman is the best person to play him and I think he did a great job. The Weapon X / Team X stories are some of my personal favorites, I've even gone so far as to buy novelizations of Team X stories just because it involves Maverick, Wraith, Sabertooth, and my personal favorite, Deadpool. I love Deadpool! I also love Ryan Reynolds. You know another one of my favorite characters? Gambit. He was in the movie too! Wowsers! I must have loved this sonuvabitch!!!!

Wrong. I did not love it. I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it. It had some potential, but the story was kinda weak and had some pretty gaping plot holes. Like Paris Hilton's hoo-hoo gaping.

I apologize for that imagery, but the whole reasoning and  planning behind getting Logan to volunteer becoming an unstoppable killing machine then spending the rest of the movie trying to kill the unstoppable killing machine just didn't make much sense. Maybe I expect too much from my evil government conspirators. Also, a bullet to a healing brain is definitely going to erase your memory. It's a fact.

I don't even want to talk about Deadpool or Gambit. Don't get me started on those too. Seriously, don't. OK I'll say one thing, Deadpool is "The Merc With A Mouth"!!!  A mouth!!!  Don't sew it shut FOR NO RAISIN!!  And he's not Baraka!!

I did enjoy the action scenes and seeing some of the cameos. I will repeat that Hugh Jackman makes a great Wolverine. I actually liked Liev Schreiber as Sabertooth better than Tyler "Growling Equals Acting" Mane. Ryan Reynolds was good when he was briefly on screen and had a fucking mouth!! 

OK so I'm done. Wolverine gets a B - . I don't have a nickname. That was a dumb idea.