Clash of the Titans

When I first heard they were remaking Clash of the Titans I was enthusiastic. I love Greek Mythology and I remember thinking the special effects of the 1981 version were so bad, it's gonna be awesome with modern CGI. Then I started seeing previews and stuff looked cool, but doubts started creeping in. But look at that cast! There's no way Liam Neeson or Ralph Fiennes would be in a bad movie (I had apparently cast The Phantom Menace and Maid in Manhattan out of my memory). A part of me was wary of this film, but I remained enthusiastic.

I need to listen to my gut more.

First of all, I guess the acting was OK. I'm not really a good judge of that. Unless someone is glaringly awful, I take the performances at face value. So in that respect, the movie seemed fine. I thought Fiennes' Hades was a little campy, but he was trying to go for something different than Voldemort.

(The god of death is so emo!)

Liam Neeson was fine as Zeus. Danny Huston was wasted as Poseidon. Sam Worthington is the same character as he was in Terminator: Salvation and Avatar. That doesn't mean he's a bad actor, it worked for the role. Fight monster, ruminate on what it means to be a man, fight another monster, rally troops, fight again. Apparently his character and Io (played by Gemma Arterton) fell in love during the journey. I must have missed when this happened. It probably happened when I went to take a piss. She just looked high during the whole movie. Maybe he slipped her something...

(She like, totally loves Perseus)

The plot. To be perfectly honest, I'm still not sure what it was. Perseus was on a journey to save... a town... for some reason. The Gods are pissed, Hades plays Zeus for a fool, and only Perseus can stop him. Honestly, I'm found myself pretty bored by it all. Medusa was neat, but the Kraken scene was kind of silly. It's just one long chase scene in and out of tentacles. It actually ended with a "Hades will be back, but we'll be there to stop him" conversation which I had to roll my eyes at, which sucked because I had a pretty bad headache at this point...

...because of the stupid useless fucking 3D! I am going to avoid bitching about 3D in general. Because my left eye refuses to be a team player I can't see 3D. That's fine, I've learned to live with it and I rarely crash my car.

(I feel your pain, brother.)

Avatar showed that with the right technology and planning 3D can make a good movie fucking awesome. But Avatar was filmed with that in mind. They had specific cameras designed for 3D. with Clash of the Titans, the 3D seemed like an afterthought. It did not add anything to the movie, in fact, it was just distracting. I watched most of the film with my glasses off and most of the time the 3D was only in the background. I was pretty pointless. This is a prime example of how gimmicky 3D has become.

If you're huge into Greek Mythology, then go ahead and see this in the theater. For the rest of you, you might as well wait for DVD. Or wait for it to show on T.V. You're not really missing much.

My final grade for Clash of the Titans is D.